I walk the woods nearly every day. They know me. We look each other in the eye and I say, “It’s ok. I am a good person.” And then they stand and wait while I take their picture. They are not afraid.
I walk gently through their home, trying to be respectful of their surroundings. They, in turn, welcome me with that soft, gentle look.
In the books regarding the language of animals, it is said that the deer carry the message that we should be gentle with ourselves. I feel that sense when I look into their eyes. And as I walk on, I feel that message resonate through me. There is no reason for me to be hard on myself. I am just a humble being, here to carry out my life’s mission.
Over time, I have wondered what exactly my mission was. Sometimes, I felt as though I was lost in a sea of carrying out other people’s needs. Is that my mission? If so, than I often felt inadequate. With each failed attempt to be the person someone wanted me to be, I feel a sense of guilt, frustration, and anger. I just want to do my life.
But, what is my life?
And then, here I am greeted by the deer with this message to be gentle with myself.
Finally, I breath deep and say, “Ok, ok. I hear you.” I can just take it one step at a time. I don’t need to know the answers to everything right now. I can simply believe that things will happen as they are supposed to happen and I will live the life I was sent here to live.
I need to simply love being me.