Over the past months, I have been through a very dark time; emotions at an all time high. I practiced breathing with regular walks in a woods and soothing music during car rides. I wished, with all my might, that things could be different. Still the inevitable was going to happen. It was out of my control.
I sit now, in a quiet place, on the other side of the storm, and I’m being told that it’s time to give thanks. Give thanks and then think about what you would really want in your life. Believe that it already exists. Stop any negative noise that tells you different. That will negate the process.
So, I did it. I first thought about everything that I am truly thankful for and the list is long. I have my health, a beautiful family, a lovely place to live, enough money to pay the bills, and connections to people whom I truly enjoy. I have everything I need, so this changes what you would think I would request.
If I Could Have, In My Life, Anything I Wanted What Would It Be?
Turns out it’s not to undo everything that just happened in my most current storm. I do understand that everything happens for a reason and I have to be open and accepting.
It also turns out that it’s not money; at least not millions of dollars. I really just want enough money to stay independent. I want enough money to, once in awhile, buy something frivolous. I want enough money so that I can look around me and say with pride “I must have done a good job.”
It’s not about wanting the lives of people who have passed to be back. I really have always thought that they never left. I feel their presence in every big event. I feel their arms around me in every crisis.
So, Tell Me What You Want, What You Really Really Want!
After giving it some serious thought, I realized that what I really want is bigger than all of the above.
I want to love and be loved by the people around me. I want to be important in the lives of my kids but not so much that it makes us all dependent on each other. I want to stay healthy and strong because with that strength comes my desire to remain independent. I to be surrounded by people who accept others for being a child of God regardless of their race, sexual orientation, or beliefs. I want, also, surround myself with people who are want to help others. I want to be one of those people too. I want to always be humble. A long time ago, I was told that I was not so special, and for a while, I believed that to be a negative. Now, I agree. I am a small dot in this massive universe. Small dot or not, though, I want to matter.
Now, Imagine That You Already Have Everything You Wished For
I have read that a person brings energy into their life (either positive or negative) based on what you allow yourself to believe. I want to bring in as much positive energy as I can, so here goes:
- I believe that I put out love and I am truly loved by others.
- I am important in the lives of my family but they are not dependent on me.
- I am healthy and strong. I am independent.
- I am surrounded by people who accept others for being a child of God regardless of race, sexual orientation, or beliefs.
- I am surrounded by people who love to help others. I am one of them.
- I am humble.
- I do matter.
Try It Yourself
This was an eye opener for me. Initially, I thought what everyone thinks when asked, “If you could have anything you want, what would it be?” My answer was, “A million dollars.” But by doing this activity, I realized how weak that wish really is. I don’t want or need a million dollars to be happy. I am, instead, truly blessed. And, although I have been put through a storm, it only made me stronger. Every storm tests your resolve and I believe I weathered this one. This has made me ponder what is really important in life. I will continue to remind myself of all that I have to be thankful for and every time I allow a negative thought, I will go back to my thankful list. Negative thinking sinks boats when there’s a storm.
So, if you could have anything you want, what would you wish for? Start with thankfulness for all you have, then think again about what else you need to fulfill your life. Then turn them all into positive belief statements. Pretend you already have them. Allow this positive energy to help make all your wishes come true.
Begin Again 