I Am A Little Pencil

“I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world.” Mother Teresa

I’ve taken a long extended break from WordPress but have continued to write in my journal – three pages, every day.

After writing, I  feel a need to simply be still, for a while, and have found this to be a good time to read a book called Spiritual Literacy – Reading the Sacred in Everyday Life by Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat.  It’s a book that’s been around for awhile; copyright 1996, but I have carried it with me, with good intentions, and now seems to be the right time to savor the words.

So there I was, reading for a bit, after writing in my journal and up crops this quote.  This is one of those quotes that jumped out at me and I knew I would have to write about it further.  One of the reasons that I stopped sharing in this blog was exactly this.  I had come to feel as though God had picked up my pencil.  I was being guided through thoughts and feelings too personal to share. Too many things happening too fast.  I couldn’t process it all.  I was being told that I was stronger than I believed, that I had to let go, lead each day with gratitude, believe in my creativity, intuition, and most importantly, believe in the messages. For some time, my journal entries were assisted with “Spirit Guide” Cards by Steven Farmer, as well.  Every day – shuffle the deck of Spirit Animal cards and pick number 14.  Why 14?  That’s just what I seemed directed to do.  Every day; number 14.   Every day, the message was different but it always seemed to fit me that day.

Today, I felt as though it was time to shuffle the Earth Magic cards instead.  I use this deck of cards only when I feel as though I am going through a transition.  This deck gets shuffled.  I count to number 14 and pull that card.  That will stand for my Past.  I keep counting out another 14.  This one will be my Present.  And finally, another 14 and this will represent my Future. For some reason, today was the day to do this.

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My Past:  Forest (Breathe)

This one caught me by surprise.  It was so perfect.  I have moved away from the home on the edge of a nature preserve.  I would walk these trails every day, sometimes twice.  I felt I had been brought to this very location for a reason.  I needed a place where I could feel safe and I found it under the trees (the Standing Ones).  I found gentleness and courage with the animals: deer, squirrels, chipmunks, turtles, and birds.  And then, I saw the glorious beauty of the butterfly on flowers and I came to understand that this signified a time for a change.  It was time for me to move on.

 

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My Present – Crystals (Focus)

“Where your attention flows, your intention goes.” Since moving away from the woods and going through significant change within my family, I have struggled with the idea of allowing things to just be.  I have needed to come back, again and again, to “Focus”.  Focus on the moment.  Focus on gratitude, Focus on positive energy.  It has been hard, hard work!  That might be why this card presented itself upside down!

 

My Future – Mountain (Strength)

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In the center of this frame is a photo I took from the side of a mountain in Sedona.  At the time, I was sitting there alone and afraid.  Now, I get a Mountain card as my future and it says “It makes no sense to deny the strength you have at the cost of allowing yourself to be reactive and subject to external influences far beyond what is healthy for you.”

It says that the current situation requires vigilance but not to the point of fear or paranoia.  I am to imagine myself as “a mountain of strength, solidly grounded, head touching the sky.”

See, God speaks to me.

“I am a little pencil, in the hand of God who is sending a love letter to the world.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Fresh Start

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The message of the deer –                  “Be Gentle With Yourself”

All the negative aggression of yesterday

disappears with this simple sight.
I will seek out safe and nurturing people;
my thought in fresh morning light.

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I will trust my instincts;
See the adventures in front of me.
Different paths, new insights;
Important things to learn and see.

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And, I will be gentle with others
But also myself;
Leaving negative aggression behind,
To sit on someone else’s shelf.

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The Right Path

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Today’s the day, I find my way.

Today’s the day, my path will clear.

Today is different than yesterday,

Today, I walk with you near.

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Child, the other paths weren’t wrong,

Each one helped you to find your way.

You say you searched for me so long,

But, I’ve been with you every day.

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Thank you, then, if you’ve been my guide.

I’m always here, right by your side.

Finding Inspiration In A Rock

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I Am A Rock

For a few years, now, I’ve been on  a journey to “find myself”.  I know, people used to think that’s something for the young and foolish but when I was young, I didn’t have the time to find myself.  Now, I do.

So, currently, I am engrossed in a book entitled “The Artist’s Way – A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity“, by Julia Cameron.  I am actively participating in multiple, suggested exercises, feeding my brain with positive affirmations, unblocking negative thoughts and fears – things that block creativity.

One of many, simple activities was to go on a rock hunt. Search for rocks that stand out  for some reason.  She said that they were, then, to serve as “small constant reminders of creative consciousness”. That’s all… Hmmm. Ok.

So, off I went to find rocks that spoke to me. I walked and walked, looking for the first rock that stood out. It took a while! I was, finally, drawn to one but it was snug in the ground. The earth was muddy and wet.  I wasn’t inclined to kneel down in that mud to dig out a rock,  so  I tried nudging it with the toe of my shoe. No luck. After several failed attempts, I noticed a rock quietly sitting right next to the stubborn one. I picked it up and looked at it. The first word that came to mind was “Ease”. While I was trying to force one out of the ground, this one had been sitting there all along, just watching and waiting. Maybe out of frustration…or gratitude, I put it in my pocket and moved on.

The next one I chose seemed to, actually, jump out at me.  It was far from pretty or unusual but it had this rugged exterior and, instantly, the word that jumped into my mind was “Toughness”.

Then, I knew that I wanted to find one by the waterfall.   That water, surging over piles of rocks, to me, stands for “Power”.

When I returned with my rocks, I simply put them on a piece of paper wrote the words “Ease”, “Toughness”, and “Power”. They sat there, trying to be my “creative consciousness”, but they needed further definition.  So out came this:

Ease: Life doesn’t need to be hard. We don’t need to force things. Sometimes the things we’re searching for are right there in front of our eyes; almost calling out, “Hey, over here. Choose me. Choose me.”

Toughness: Rugged exterior. Can hold up under pressure but not so tough that it can’t be influenced by weather. Still it survives.

Power: Water powers over rocks.  The rocks try with all of their massive weight, to hold it back, but they can’t.  And so, they concede.  They let the water rush over them, and accept change as part of their life.

As I reread the book, I understand that the author is constantly reminding us to think about personal affirmations –

“An affirmation is a positive statement, of (positive) belief,

and if we can become one-tenth as good at positive self-talk

as we are at negative self-talk,

we will notice enormous change.” (p.34)

I looked, once again, at my rocks and my descriptions of them and I realized that these were indeed affirmations for me!

Ease: Life doesn’t need to be hard. Things shouldn’t be forced. Perhaps,  the things I’m searching for are right in front of my eyes. And I realize that I am that rock; that rock that’s just sitting there waiting for my turn, watching while other rocks are picked because they’re prettier, more interesting, more intriguing.  “Hey, what about me?  I’m right here.  Choose me.”

Toughness: I might have a rugged exterior. I know how to hold up under pressure. But, I am not so tough that I can’t be warn down by the weather. Still, I will survive.

Power: I am the rock, at a waterfall, using all of my power to hold back the water.  Yet, no matter how hard I try, I can’t.  While I feel so strong and mighty, I have no strength when that water rushes over me.  So I just let it cleanse me.  Over time, it wears down my hard exterior and then, once again, I become something new.

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So go find your rocks.  Let them inspire you, too.